Small Talk

Small talk is all about getting to know someone.  For my lifestyle on the road, it becomes a big part of my day, constantly engaging in “stranger talk,” meeting people in a campground or at a rally, gathering for drinks at ours or a neighbor’s motor home, or generally waiting in a restaurant line, attending a performance, a folk fest, a meeting, a fund-raiser or greeting a seatmate on a tour bus or an airplane.  Small talk usually starts with questions such as “where are you from?”.  “Where are you headed?”  And then  comes the default -- the weather which, in conversation is always deemed off balance, never quite right and best of all, complaining about the weather is expected.

Small talk occurs with good friends too as a bridge to deeper conversation.  There is still wisdom in the old adage to converse about anything but politics and religion.  Some folks work hard to avoid small talk calling abhorrent and a waste of time.  So be it, it is hard to avoid.

This year the weather has taken first place in conversation, becoming  more than just a default topic. It is on everyone’s mind and lips.  This year, everyone is astounded at the severe cold, the heavy snowfall where tepid temperatures usually reign and heavy rain where drought has been the rule.  Still, all we can do about it is complain and look for blame.

Small talk can feel clumsy and uncomfortable.  It can feel forced or insignificant but helps us gloss over difficult moments.  I wonder how far-reaching this conversational tool can go.  I wonder about first meetings between world leaders behind those “closed doors?” Do they begin with did you get caught in the latest blizzard? or do they jump the hurdle right to the latest political debacle.  I bet the weather comes up first bridging safer ground and breaking the ice so to speak before addressing the more complex conversations on the agenda.

I remember my acting days when our director instructed us on utilizing “stage-small talk” during rehearsal for Our Town by Thornton Wilder.  As the small-town chorus, we had down time when the protagonists were in the spotlight and we had to stay in the background.  He suggested reciting the alphabet to each other A--Z or  Z--A, counting up and down, reciting a grocery list, or discussing the weather forecast, but warned us “don’t loose concentration and miss your cue” bringing you great embarrassment as you spoil the play.  The weather becomes a small talk default once more.

Kids use small talk as a learning tool.  They mimic the adults in their lives.  They experiment with ideas by bouncing conversations off their friends, their toys and in imaginary play.  Perhaps their “default” is less the weather than the fantasies they conjure up in their minds.  My kids drew endless images of bright sun-house-trees, dragons, whirling dervishes, volcanoes, hurricanes and floods.  This year, weather is a big issue.  Blame has been launched at El Nino, pollution, climate change and Mother Nature.  I believe mom nature is god’s implementer, god’s right hand.  The earth belongs to nature, nature rules.  We can’t do a thing about it accept to take better care of what we have.  But we surely would like to be in control.  Maybe that is the reason that this tired topic is deemed safe to smooth over the awkward moments we encounter in our busy lives.