Sorry"

Sorry, oh, sorry, I'm sorry,... Have you ever noticed how often we use the word sorry sub-consciously, as a reflex, more often spoken into the air or under our breath than directed at a specific person? This word is one of the most overused in the English language. It is involuntary, along with the phrases how are you or have a good day.


The word slips out when we shuffle our way into the middle of the row in a movie theatre or concert venue when it's the aisle sitter who chose to block our way in the first place. Americans are so sorry when we almost run down each other's shopping carts at a blind spot at the end of a grocery isle or reach for the same pear or orange on the produce counter or encounter a hiker along a narrow spot on the trail. The host or hostess in a restaurant or a cashier who took 30 seconds to wait on you says he or she is sorry.  We utter sorry when we vie for the same seat on the subway or send a belated email response or, on and on. Fill in your own triggers for uttering  the catch-all word sorry.


Being American born, saying sorry is part of my nature. One of the first words I learn when visiting a foreign country is their word for sorry. (Spanish, lo siento or perdon, Hebrew, Slicha, French, désolé, Turkish, ozür dilerim...)  There is even a board game called SORRY that has been around  since 1934. Although, I don't believe in the course of the game that the players share their sorrow for knocking each other back home or off the board.


I have read that Americans apologize to strangers constantly as we cruise through the day but that saying thank you or apologizing to loved ones is hard in coming. The flower and sweets industries says that they thrive partly on the backs of folks that send flowers or chocolate because that comes more easily than actually saying thank you or I am sorry in person. 


Europeans on the other hand, are not known to apologize if they bump you in a grocery line or enter the rapid transit or subway car before you are allowed to exit. They are purposeful in their actions not giving thought to manners but continuing on their way. Americans say "sorry" when we have nothing to be sorry about. It is under our skin, an ingrown trait. Does it stem from our Puritanical heritage, from what our mothers taught us or just that we are too darn polite? 


Ann Carol Goldberg